August 4, 2022
  • August 4, 2022

What to say to someone who denies climate change

By on July 28, 2022 0
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People, especially climate change deniers, love it when you prove them wrong. If someone says they don’t believe in global warming, try saying the following things.

“I also hate that Florida is above water.”

“I also hate that Florida is above water.”

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Establishing common ground is crucial for healthy speech.

“And would you prefer it to be a check or a wire transfer, senator?”

“And would you prefer it to be a check or a wire transfer, senator?”

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This one also works on most members of Congress.

“The land that will soon become uninhabitable is the same land that guns are on.”

“The land that will soon become uninhabitable is the same land that guns are on.”

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Appeal to their emotional side by linking issues they are more likely to care about.

“Think of your children, if you love any of them.”

“Think of your children, if you love any of them.”

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Encourage them to envision a future in which their middle child, who is quite decent, is constantly suffering.

“If sea levels rise, thousands of New Yorkers could move to your hometown.”

“If sea levels rise, thousands of New Yorkers could move to your hometown.”

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Let them know that wildfires and heat waves aren’t the only horrific side effects of climate change.

“Harvey Keitel believes in climate change.”

“Harvey Keitel believes in climate change.”

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Wow, the star of sister act and Little Nicky?

“Big corporations have worked so hard to dump pollutants into the seas and skies, and they deserve credit for their work.”

“Big corporations have worked so hard to dump pollutants into the seas and skies, and they deserve credit for their work.”

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Imagine how they feel, their years of passionate toil being ignored!

“I have a beachfront property you might be interested in.”

“I have a beachfront property you might be interested in.”

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Climate change deniers are the perfect people to drop off your fast-disappearing beachfront property.

“I think I’m falling in love with you”

“I think I’m falling in love with you”

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Before you win their brains, you have to win their hearts.

“Tell me the truth, off the record.”

“Tell me the truth, off the record.”

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Only after making this disclaimer can ExxonMobil CEO Darren Woods freely discuss the many horrors his company has created.

“The sun is angry and mean to the glaciers.”

“The sun is angry and mean to the glaciers.”

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If you feel like they’re losing interest in the conversation, break things down in the simplest possible terms.

“OK.”

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Why stress when you know humanity won’t pull itself together in time?

“Global warming has been linked to penis failure.”

“Global warming has been linked to penis failure.”

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Is it worth it.

“Well, you’ve always hated Earth.”

“Well, you’ve always hated Earth.”

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Remind them that their long-standing grudge against the planet likely clouded their judgment.

“An evil mage cast an Earth-warming spell.”

“An evil mage cast an Earth-warming spell.”

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If facts and scientific reviews aren’t enough, try this to get them involved.

“Some of my best friends are melting glaciers.”

“Some of my best friends are melting glaciers.”

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They might reconsider knowing that your loved ones are affected by their beliefs.

“I have personally dumped enough toxic waste into the ocean to have an irreversible impact.”

“I have personally dumped enough toxic waste into the ocean to have an irreversible impact.”

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Providing evidence of your heinous acts of pollution might convince them it’s real.

“Do you think The Day After Tomorrow would have been the sixth highest-grossing movie of 2004 if it hadn’t been for a ring of truth?”

“Do you think The Day After Tomorrow would have been the sixth highest-grossing movie of 2004 if it hadn’t been for a ring of truth?”

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Emmy Rossum wasn’t even famous then, so they can’t blame her.

“You said cats don’t exist, but I showed you one.” »

“You said cats don’t exist, but I showed you one.” »

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Please remind them that they were wrong once before.

“There is an overwhelming scientific consensus in favor of climate change.”

“There is an overwhelming scientific consensus in favor of climate change.”

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I probably won’t scare them off, but you gotta at least put that shit out there.

“Climate change is going to have a disproportionate impact on the wealthy in developed countries.”

“Climate change is going to have a disproportionate impact on the wealthy in developed countries.”

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Hearing this earth-shattering claim can cause concern in even the toughest deniers.

“You should switch to QAnon, I think you would have more fun.”

“You should switch to QAnon, I think you would have more fun.”

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Help them find the conspiracy theory that suits them, showing them that QAnon is a much nicer rabbit hole.